I found this old post from August, which I never ended up publishing, but it made me laugh to remember my life for that short period of time. Thought I'd share it to evoke some chuckles...
Just yesterday, I was excited for an evening alone with our puppy, Pinto. I imagined all the fun things we would do. Within five minutes of arriving at the apartment to take him for a walk, armed with a handful of my newly-purchased (expensive!) biodegradable doggie poop bags, I had used four of the bags to scoop up his four piles of doggie poo. For two hours, we romped and played outside. While seeing us walking, no one is fooled about who is walking who. My sixty-plus pound "puppy" tugs and pulls me along with little effort, and my efforts at teaching him to heel seem lost in the crowds of people and all the sights he's so enamored with. After arriving home, I fed and watered him, then coaxed him up the flights of stairs to the rooftop, where I envisioned relaxing with my laptop in the lovely evening sun, with Pinto laying nicely nearby chewing on his bone. As soon as we finally arrived at the rooftop, Pinto vomited his water and dinner on the deck. When I could see he wasn't going to be happy relaxing beside me this evening, I let him roam the deck freely, then watched in amazement as he deposited puddles of diarrhea and pee, side by side, nearby. He barked and cried while I consumed copious amounts of paper towels cleaning up the floor.
Finally we went back downstairs, I worked for about an hour on my laptop while he played restlessly until I took him back outside for another hour long walk. During this walk, my arm was tensed the entire time, trying to be the one in control and failing somewhat miserably. As we stopped on a platform downtown to admire the beautiful setting sun, he left one more puddle of poo, which thankfully no tourists were nearby to witness, allowing us to make a discreet departure for home. Hopefully the rain will wash it away soon. We arrived at home, he drank some more water, and then for all the fancy natural food I'd bought him I ended up feeding him his crushed antibiotic and brewer's yeast (for fleas) squished together in a piece of country potato bread I found in the cupboard. He drank some more water, and then in the blink of a metaphorical eye I turned around to find him peeing on the carpet. I wonder if this is what parents of toddlers feel like sometimes.
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