My apologies upfront for any ambiguity or cryptic content in this blog, but I'm writing about the here-and-now, and this, my friends, is where it's at.
It hit me today that there are questions I've been hiding in the closet of my heart for the past few months, and that they needed to come out. So I did something I hope was brave and not premature: I let them out. That's right. I asked those questions to the person I needed to be honest with, and I no longer hid behind the fear of the unknown. Have you ever done that? It's both frightening in the level of exposure you feel, hanging awkwardly in that place of the unknown, while also liberating you from the dread of an answer you may not want to hear. In letting those questions out of hiding, it's making a statement: I won't be in cahoots with fear any longer. I'm going to face it head on, instead of waiting for it to creep up and grab me from behind. I'm going to surrender.
And that's the place I find myself in this evening. Waiting, choosing not to dread the answer. Learning once again what trusting God looks like.