Day thirteen of a daily meditation, a practice of free writing on words of Advent this season...
One of the more infuriating lessons I'm still in the process of learning in my thirtysomething years is this: expectation kills relationships. Because it's a form of control. Infuriating, because I still haven't found a way to let go; still haven't located that elusive balance of lightly holding expectations in my hands without letting them hold me. And pretty much the only times expectations don't let us down - as in, That was better than I expected - is when the bar has been set at a safe level, or intentionally low. Maybe this isn't true for everyone, but it's my experience.
Christmas comes with a whole lot of expectations, many unconscious until the sting of let down sets in. Things are supposed to look a certain way, play out a certain way, feel a certain way, and even when they do and things are good, there inevitably comes a year when these expectations betray us.
Our pastor spoke today about expectation and the birth of Christ. How the Jewish people had rational expectations of what a king should look like, how he should come to save his people, what deliverance meant, how their lives would change. What they got was a baby born to ordinary parents in a rented stable in a part of the country far from the hub of Jewish life. Welcome, Messiah, King of the Jews. This was not, in their expectations, what they'd been waiting for. But it was better; only for those with eyes to see and ears to hear.
The birth of Christ reminds me of the one expectation that will never disappoint. The only expectation where I can't set the bar high enough. Not that it's safe. Not that it's easy. Not that it won't require everything I have to surrender. But I'm coming to trust, for all the messy process of setting my expectation on him alone, the outcome is always, always good. He may not come in the way I want him to, but he comes in the way that satisfies deeper than I even knew to expect.
Welcome to our world, Jesus. Welcome to our world.
How we need to hear from God
You've been promised, we've been waiting
Welcome Holy Child
Welcome Holy Child
Hope that you don't mind our manger
How I wish we would have known
But long awaited Holy Stranger
Make yourself at home
Please make yourself at home
Bring your peace into our violence
Bid our hungry souls be filled
World now breaking Heaven's silence
Welcome to our world
Welcome to our world
Fragile finger sent to heal us
Tender brow prepared for thorn
Tiny heart whose blood will save us
Unto us is born
Unto us is born
So wrap our injured flesh around You
Breathe our air and walk our sod
Rob our sin and make us holy
Perfect Son of God
Perfect Son of God
Welcome to our world
Yes, yes, yes. So good to remember our own expectations in light of the people of Jesus' day. I love what you say about the lowering of expectations as what's needed not to be disappointed in the earthly realm, while in the realm of faith in Christ, it's exactly the opposite.
ReplyDeleteThis: "He may not come in the way I want him to, but he comes in the way that satisfies deeper than I even knew to expect."
Amen, friend.
(I know I've said it before, but I'm so proud of you for pressing through in this great series.)
Thank you, so much, for your support, encouragement and always thoughtful insights. Funny, you summed up what I wrote more concisely than I was able to say! And I love this: "the lowering of expectations is what's needed not to be disappointed in the earthly realm, while in the realm of faith in Christ, it's exactly the opposite." Another profound mystery of faith...
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