Day by day

I know it could be worse. Much, much worse, in fact. I know millions have it far worse than me. Some days when I sit down to write, it's as much a daily check-in to encourage myself to look for the beautiful in the present day, as it is an exercise in writing. And some days, I still sit here and draw an alarming blank. It's sad, I know. I can list off at least a dozen beautiful things about this day, and yet, my heart feels heavy. Lately, I'll be honest, I feel like I'm wrestling with a crocodile, and the crocodile appears to be gobbling me up. It's hard to name the crocodile, because I don't want a label to point my finger at. I don't need to believe the crocodile will win, and so, give up. The crocodile won't win, I know that. But that doesn't make the wrestling match any less tiresome. It doesn't even make the heaviness in my heart go away.

But I do find comfort in these words written by one the most prolific authors of the Bible. He was intimately acquainted with suffering, and somehow he was able to embrace it, even when it appears he struggled with his own depression at times. There is timeless truth in these ancient words...

"Therefore, we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal." ~ 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (NKJV)

Think about that: regardless of what's going on in my body, in my circumstances, or with my emotions, I am being renewed inside - in my innermost being - day by day. While I may dwindle in one, I only grow stronger in the other. I can't see this with my eyes, or necessarily feel it in my body, but that doesn't diminish its truth. Amazing. One day, all these things will fade away into a distant memory, overtaken by the magnitude of eternity.