In that part of day in this season of fall, when it seems the earth is sprinting toward the shadows, when daylight is like sand slipping through cracks between fingers and breeze rustles through leaves like crackling wind chimes, I heard my soul's hunger and bundled for the cold.
Yes, my soul took me for a walk.
And the chill of the air embraced me, a gentle shake to the shoulders, pure joy inhaled deep into my lungs. For the first time in who knows how long I felt fully alive.
At first, I quickened my pace to reach the lake before the blanket of darkness spread across the sky, my sights set on light, those last vestiges of color and reflection across the water. I arrived in time to catch it, rewarded by percussive waves that beckoned me to sit awhile. So I sat, wrapped in layers and double hoods around my face, waiting as the darkness descended.
And here I remembered, darkness has its own secrets. Treasures impeded by light.
The stars. The moon. The glory of all that is outside, or here in the midst of, these perimeters of artificial light. The mysterious, great beyond.
How we flood the wild, the real with the artificial, because we're afraid of what we cannot see, cannot tame. So we chase the light, keep it blazing continuously at great cost, but there is beauty to be found cocooned here in the dark.
Such it is with life.
As I sat, I saw out of the corner of my eye a figure darker than the darkening sky, flying past in near stillness. A figure I had only ever seen in the daylight.
A great blue heron, perched stately on a wooden post in the lake. I moved to get as near him as I could, kneeling on a weathered dock, and wished to kiss the air.
He's been here, all along, even in the dark, I marveled. And then, he lifted his great wings and disappeared on the wind. Even though I could not possess him, could not see him in living color, he was there, gloriously alive. And somehow, simply knowing that in this moment, was enough for me.
Such it is with God.
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Joining the Five-minute Friday community over at Kate's place to the prompt of "Still."
Surrender and darkness have been themes of reflection for me lately. If you'd like, I invite you to read more: here and here.
Oh, Amber. What a beautiful thing to know your dark is still filled with your beloved birds. Nothing to fear, indeed!
ReplyDeleteThat's exactly what I thought, Beth! I knew my friends would see the treasure in that :)
ReplyDeleteAmber, thank you for sharing such a beautiful piece. The thought that we "hide" the beauty of the darkness by always flooding it with light really struck me. Some of the most beautiful lessons are "brought to light" in the STILLNESS of the night!!
ReplyDeleteThat thought struck me, too, Laura, and I can't really take credit for it. I just picked up a book several days ago about a man's search for true darkness in the outdoors, not touched by light pollution, and how much darkness is disappearing from the earth. It is speaking to me in a very real, natural sense, as well as spiritually. I am so grateful you stopped by here and that these words spoke something to you.
DeleteAmber, as always, I love your words. They speak to my heart. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteSo much love to you, Patricia.
DeleteI have been restless, supposedly resting, but rest my experience. I got up, asked God if he had something for me today. I came here and saw your blog post and yes, God said through your words.- "there is beauty here cocooned in the dark." I will look for the beauty. It's there if i look. i know it is. It was good to be reminded.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what to say to this, Carol, but how it humbles me. I am so moved by the ways God speaks through us to each other.
DeleteBeautiful: God's treasures in the dark places are treasures indeed. I'm glad I visited here today.
ReplyDeleteThank YOU for being here.
DeleteLovely post, such a pleasure to visit your blog today from FMF. I write about darkness and light a lot. Such beauty here.
ReplyDeleteIt's kind of wonderful, isn't it, how these elemental things - like light and dark - can speak volumes to us throughout our lives? I love this. Thank you.
DeleteAmber, you have such a beautifully poetic way of writing. I am captured by your imagery, and blessed by your insights. Thank you for sharing this moment in your life. It also stilled my heart, as I sat along with you, breathless at the presence of our Lord.
ReplyDeleteGOD BLESS!
Sometimes a phrase just grabs me and I don't know why. This one did: "my soul took me for a walk." I sat and paused with it.
ReplyDeleteThen finished the rest of your post. Beautiful, of course. And the great blue heron: we have one that visits the lake behind our house. I even stepped outside just now to see if he was there because wouldn't that be just like God? But he wasn't there. That can be just like God too. :) So I'll linger a little more on "my soul took me for a walk." Thank you, Amber.