to seek him, the greatest adventure;
to find him, the greatest achievement.” ~ Saint Augustine
I was going to write something else. Something less overtly “Christian,” something about the journey of becoming an artist; a brief looking back in order to let go and embrace the becoming.* Frustration, disappointment and sadness have flanked me from all sides these days, in nearly every aspect of my life, and the fog of depression has often kept me from writing. I was going to write something more of that story, of writing through the fog, and I'm sure there will be days ahead where this is the story I write.
But there’s another story I want to tell, one I’m compelled to return to that I’ve written of before. A story that swallows up every other smaller story I could tell and somehow makes them whole.
A love story.
You see, my eyes fell across these words today of Saint Augustine and it seems my heart wants to take me in another direction. I want to write of this weary heart awakening, of coming home, of yet again falling in love with God - not as I have in the past or what I hope for in the future, but this moment - today. The day to day romance of the soul, the adventure of seeking, the achievement of finding.
I’m not going to say that this will be an official “series” or how often I’ll write this story, but as the season once again shifts from summer to fall, I find myself hungering for a spiritual shift of seasons, and this is the only way I know how. I don’t know about you, but I could use a lot more romance in my life. Not just the date night variety romance - the sweet notes, meaningful looks and tender touches - but the romance that fills my soul with the joy of being alive, fully known and loved unconditionally. The romance of a fuller opening to the heart of God imprinted on every piece of fabric that is my life.
So in my living, I’m going to be looking for this romance, to enter in; and in my writing, to capture this journey in words and images and everyday moments.
It’s time to fall in love again with the one who first captured my heart, so many years ago.
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*This is not to imply anything negative about writing overtly "Christian," in any way. For the last several years, I've simply been hungering for a voice that is not relegated to a Christian lingo or label; for if I call myself a Christian, I hope it will show through in the way that I write and live this story I am telling.
Joining Heather and the EO gang for a rare (for me these days) Just Write.
I read about this same concept in the last chapter of Ann Voskamps book 1000 gifts last night.
ReplyDeleteAmber, how I love this vision to write the love story. How beautiful. I cannot wait to read its unfolding because I adore how you tell stories, friend. And the "overtly" part, I get that...I am right there with you. Wanting to tell the overt story when that's what God invites, but more often wanting to make a space for others to come and hear and see without feeling excluded by language. This is such a good seasonal shift. I'm looking forward to sharing with you in it and am holding your tender heart close to mine in prayer this morning.
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